Grief and Remembrance

 

Grief doesn’t disappear,

It crashes into one likes the waves on the rocks,

Then recedes quietly as it came.

Before the next wave.

 

It comes like a thief, stealing one’s breath

and thoughts – an uneasy return to the past.

One learns to adapt - to “live” with grief,

one never learns to forget it.

 

The memories surface at their own pace

And one’s will is no match,

One can only ride the tide

And wait for calmer waters.

 

Grief is an ongoing fact of life.

One with which one learns to live,

But never accept.

 

RIP little sis, you were loved, you are remembered!

 

Take heart – twenty-five years

Just a short blog for all of those of you who have been recently diagnosed with breast cancer.

Today marks the day of my first operation – 25 years ago!

We are also 10 years past the mastectomy of the same breast… and I’m still here.

 

A third of my lifetime, won due to the fact that I live in a country where medical

insurance is obligatory, where care is good and where, mostly, doctors listen to

patients (that first lump was outside the normal radius and my gynecologist didn’t

feel it until I pointed it out).

 

If breast cancer is still killing, it is killing less as we diagnose faster and have better tools for eradicating it.

 

Keep checking, I hope that all who are diagnosed today follow my path and “live to tell the tale”.

 

💗💗 💖💗💓💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗

Feeling good only costs 10 cents

10 Swiss centimes

10 Euro cents

10 USA cents

You know how busy we all are, how we run from one task to the other, one errand to the next: a merry-go-round of “things to do”. If we’re lucky, we stop to “smell the roses” or recognize happiness when it hits.

 

This morning I was on my third errand, which involved parking in one of the commercial centers. Upon going to pay my parking ticket, the chap before me couldn’t get the machine to accept his bill, one that was within the limits of what the machine should accept. He turned it over, nothing to be done. He was then going to use a credit card (for 1 franc!) but

Must of thought that he had pressure as he looked first for change. After the fiasco of the bill I had offered to pay, but that was refused. However, when the coins he had came up short by 10 cents He did allow me to me to chip in. He left happy, I left happier!

Both in the same day… or

Finally seeing my sons.

 

It was a rather un-planned week, but by the end of it I needed to get some mail to my younger son, who, although he no longer lives at home, is still using my address. (As does his girlfriend – I guess I’m the “stable” one in the family).

This doesn’t bother me in the slightest until the mail piles up.

 

I had finally bundled it up and forwarded it, only to have it returned to the parents of the friend who’s apartment he is subletting. Good thing they live in my village.

 

So it was, and having received more mail, becoming rather urgent that I transfer this. Arranged to meet him at one of our larger DIY stores out where he would be teaching that day, but got hung up in a meeting (another story) and as was getting late by the time I was free arranged to meet him directly at his school. By the time all that had happened I still went on to the DIY center, was starving to popped up first to the restaurant for a bite. I was just coming out of the line when I heard behind me “I think, Ma’am, that we perhaps know each other”. And turned to see that my older son was just putting away his tray.

 

Serendipity as it can be literally months before I see both sons the same day!

 

 

A blast from the past…

A blast from the past

 

Twenty-three years ago I lost my husband; his heart and body simply couldn’t take any more after two valve replacements his heart was failing, a transplant was in the works, but he had a lung hemorrhage before it could take place.

 

Over the years we have adjusted, the good memories remain, the pain is blurred, as are the links to that part of my life.

 

Today, however, I ran into the first person from whom we rented offices all those years ago. His wife and I breast fed our sons together – so this was 45 years ago!

 

I recognized him, not sure that he really recognized me, but just the encounter was enough to transport me back through the years. I don’t need a time machine, friends and acquaintances do well in its’ stead.

 

 

Proust’s madeleine

 

Now for those of you (probably quite a few) who have never heard of Proust, never mind his madeleines, he was a French writer and philosopher who in his book “In search of Lost time” uses the madeleine – a small French cookie – to explain memory and how our memories are often linked to tastes and smells

I have had a couple of proustien experiences lately. One at Christmas when my older son gave us each a cinnamon roll: straight back to my aunt and mother’s cinnamon rolls of the weekend. Oh the memories, oh the flavours – thank you son!

The second such was today in one of my local grocery stores. There in the front on a table of Asian specialities were boxes of Fortune Cookies! Hadn’t seen one, never mind opened one in a long, long time. Of course I had to buy a box, and of course I had to open it: Written in Chinese and in English my first “fortune”.

“You possess a broad mind to pioneer the new century”. OK, I can live with that, even though it is neither a new century, nor to I perhaps have the energy to pioneer anything, never mind that another body part is probably “broader” than my mind.

Wonder what my third (my life always goes in threes) proustien memory is going to be?

 

 

Just being

So here we are a week into January already – and I’ll be writing and saying

(probably forever) where does the time go? So Happy New Year a tad after-the-fact.

 

Yesterday was a beautiful, mild, sunny day and we took advantage of it to drive

Up to a lake through rolling hills and more green than one expects at this time of year. Lovely (cheesy) lunch then home – after dark: winter is still upon us.

 

Lac du Joux

 

Today is, as they predicted, gray and rainy.

So the big spurt to finish putting away Christmas deco, including the tree, then sweep up (yes even artificial trees loose there needles – ok so it’s probably about 40 years old…) and in general tidy up for the new year. School starts tomorrow and many of us, even retired, tend to live in sync with school vacations.

 

I’m tired, time for a nap – or just being – maybe I should catch up on some of those taped Romcom movies.