Could’ve, Should’ve?

It would’ve been my husband’s 85^th birthday today. He died 20 years ago just three weeks before his 65^th.

He could have lived ‘til 85 – at least statistically for that generation. Those who made it through WWII had a good chance and there are several of his university friends who have. He also has several who didn’t make it much longer than he.

Should have?

He was 10 when the war ended and probably wasn’t well-nourished throughout his early life although his father did his best and sent his family out of the war-bombed city to the countryside.

He had his first major illness at just 32 and owed his life then to penicillin.

At just age 34 he had open heart surgery – the replacement of the aortic valve: he was lucky as living at that point in a major city in Switzerland that had the latest machines.

At age 45 he had his second open-heart surgery with the replacement of his mitral valve and re-replacement of his aortic valve. They threw in a pacemaker as well.

He never had colds, the flu only once that I recall, but major crisis he could do.

What kept him going? Probably finding someone to be at his side, then the birth of his adored sons. He worked hard to stay healthy and got those last 20 years.

So should he have turned 85? On will alone – a resounding yes. Logistically probably no.

I’ll still remember and still raise a glass to an extraordinary man. Happy Birthday RSL!

In Alaska the summer of 1999 less than 6 months before his death