Gone…

But not forgotten.

Pat at 6 - the number of years since she died

 I have written other blogs on the theme, but every year on several dates those that I have “loved and lost” come to mind. Some years are harder than others and no matter how often I repeat “they are not entirely gone as long as someone remembers that they once lived and were loved” there are moments when that remains simply what it is: a trite phrase.

Today is one such and if I still feel that I was honored and privileged to be there when my little sister took her last breath, I still wish that she were here.

It was a different day, neither totally sad, nor totally normal.

I wandered around doing errands – and found myself eating (of all things) a burrito in her honor and remembering how good the ones were locally in her old town.

Pat – you are no longer physically here – yet you are always present in our hearts. RIP

Would have been…

I rarely go that route: could have been; should have been; would have been but the date on the paper hit me this morning.

My first thoughts went to at least three persons who celebrate their birthdays today, but then the year also clicked and I had a moment of reflection.

It would have been the first of my 40 years of marriage celebrations: could it have been? Most likely not: we got lucky as it was getting 25 years given my husband’s medical problems (the viral one could happen to anyone; the undisclosed rheumatic fever, which later affected his heart valves, was also something that today should have been discovered, but during World War II and in a country at war certainly couldn’t have been).

Should have been? The marriage definitely so – the length matters less.

Nevertheless, two more times this year I will remember what was and what a pleasure and privilege it would have been.

Oct. 6, 1974  - the 2nd wedding (same bride and groom)