The definitive answer…

To the toilet paper quandary of “over or under”

Recently one of my friends presented the statistics and arguments concerning one of the most widely – and heatedly – debated questions of all times, i.e. “does one put the roll in such a manner as to have the sheets coming over, or coming under”?

Wheeler's patent

I can now give a very good reason for my stance of “over – always”!

I defy anyone to take a few sheets off of the roll with one hand if said roll is “under” –

In the hospital the whole roll ended up on the floor and the following picture depicts just how convenient it is when the roll is in the “over” position!

On the same subject – I am fast becoming an expert on “how to live and survive with only one good arm”, so although hopefully none of you will ever need these tips, I will share them anyway as a means of preventing your having to use them!

If a right-handed person finds themselves in the position of not being able to use said right arm or hand, guess what – you can survive.

My handwriting is now clearer than formerly – actually legible - as I need to really apply myself; my left hand is fairly good at typing – at least anything that the left hand always types; my eating skills with the left hand are not quite so good, but of benefit to the cats as tidbits do end up on the floor; I have re-discovered my thighs – I can actually squat to retrieve something from the floor and so on.

But there are valuable tips as well:

Make sure that you always have at least one of your husband’s – or in my case grown son’s – shirts available. Two or more are better as that allows for a change of style. They are the only things that one can actually put on one arm, wrap around one’s body and still button in front – also the fact that the buttons are left facilitates the process. Make sure that you always have a couple of stretchy, knitted sweaters on the slightly too large side, again one puts on one arm, wraps around and buttons. Note, one can dress oneself – it only takes 20 minutes instead of the usual two. Saturdays and Sundays are easier as I allow myself to wear jogging pants with an elastic band… also helps preserve the two pair of pants that I can actually close the buttons on without aid. And yes, using one’s teeth to secure scarves or the like is totally allowed.

Tired of the dangling hand? A good old-fashioned wooden spatula inserted underneath the arm of the cloth sling helps immensely!

The same spatula becomes a handy place to drape the strap of whatever needs to be carried thus allowing one to use both hands!

Then there are the magnetic and pincher “sticks” acquired for fishing things out from behind the washer and dryer years ago – they come in very handy when one drops the telephone, it splits and the batteries go promptly under the nearest sink/radiator or other distant item.

I may well discover other tips for dealing with my current handicap – and will surely share them.

Meanwhile, it’s Sunday, it’s snowing and I am safe and secure inside.

Life’s little ironies

Medical emergencies are never funny I know, but they do have their moments of hilarity in spite of it all.

Yesterday I managed to, yet again, get myself into a fix: I went for a walk around 1:30 in the afternoon down by the lake and managed to slip on some of the twigs that they were trimming: did a face plant and hit side of face and right arm. Couldn't use it to get up as too much pain so knew that something was wrong. Called but the tree trimmers didn't hear me. Rolled over on my left and was able to sit up on the sidewalk. Was able on the second try to get the attention of a couple leaving the restaurant so instead of calling an ambulance and having to wait in the cold they took me to emergency. Angels on my side.

Got lucky there too as the checked me right away and gave me some painkillers - not much of an effect. But was back in a box a couple of hours later with a shot of morphine. Then it was wait for x-rays - broken upper arm in three spots. They decided that not only did they want a scan before deciding on what kind of surgery, but also because I had hit my head: I was 6th in line, which meant about 5 hours of waiting! Good news head scan o.k. (so still no excuse for my quirks). So was able to have a friend bring me home around midnight. They will have their orthopedic reunion and I can only hope that surgery can be programmed quickly. Here we go, six weeks of left-handed everything and no driving to boot. Wonder if I'll learn patience? 

my pile of clothes

ER box

But there were funny moments as well: watching the clock turn 2016; sending the roll of toilet paper flying when trying to rip off some one-handed; realizing that all the text messages that I was getting weren’t from family or friends, but rather from the deposits to my electronic medical file, but the funniest of all came just now when I wanted to check said file only to receive this message:

and me?

Hmmm… sounds like even electronics are mimicking my life.

Rainy day solutions

My cats – Babette and Cléa – have the perfect solution for a rainy day: find a warm fuzzy basket and curl up together.

Although I didn't do the same, I did go into town and enjoyed lunch with younger son and a friend of his - fuzzy warm thoughts of family and friends work almost as well as the basket for counteracting gray and rain. 

Erasing the white board

Or perhaps to give it the merit that it has come to deserve: Erasing the White Board.

Is not an easy thing to do I have discovered – that will teach me to make what’s on it so important or at least to change more frequently.

The origins of the white board in the downstairs WC came with the kitchen renovation five years ago when I lost the side of the refrigerator. We transferred the bulletin board to the WC then I found a white board in plastic that could simply be stuck to the wall – and pulled back off if need be. It was a precious addition during the years that I had a housemate and became our communication central. Sometimes they were useful messages, sometimes simply a hi – have a good day, or flowers drawn by non-artists (me); Christmas trees, or tulips or Easter deco according to the season.

When my younger son moved out after 18 months at home there was less need, then my housemate was gone a lot and we too eventually agreed that she and her husband needed to live on their own, thus leaving no one with whom I needed to communicate on a regular basis. By then, though it was a fixture and simply taking it down not acceptable.

When younger son asked if he could have a group of camp counselors here for a briefing I had a whimsical idea: yes, if they would each be willing to write “welcome” in their language on the white board.

Over the remaining months of the year there was the odd addition when I had someone new and the last was a good friend on New Year’s Eve who added the language that she and I are learning – and that for some reason or the other never made it on the white board before then.

It is time to erase the White Board and start something new, but I also noticed that in the end there is “welcome” in 12 different languages – one for each month. Makes it doubly hard to erase.

I must now come up with something to replace it – and something to which I won’t become as attached.

Are people still welcome here: OF COURSE! Just don’t expect to find it written in the toilet should you need to use the facilities during your visit.

What’s the cosmos trying to tell me?

So I know that I have all that I need and I know that it isn’t perhaps always easy to come up with something unique and different, but this year the cosmos made me laugh.

For Christmas – on top of other very precious gifts – I received two books on Switzerland from my younger son as well as one on maps of Switzerland from my housemate.

Never mind that due to an upcoming games evening I purchased a game called Tour of Switzerland.

If I don’t know much about Switzerland and all things Swiss by the end of the year, it won’t be for lack of input from those surrounding me: or does it mean that I should concentrate on staying in Switzerland instead of jaunting about the rest of the world? What is the cosmos trying to impart to me?

New Year’s Resolutions

Basically I refuse to make any New Year’s Resolutions, as when I did so in my childhood, I was incapable of sticking to them for more than a week. Even if, as a teenager, I did marginally better, I have long since learned that they are rather pointless especially as in the euphoria of the moment one tends to make rather unrealistic ones.

However, one of my close friends did come up with one with which I will have to heartily concur: A moratorium on death! http://theexpatwriter.blogspot.ch/2015/12/moratorium-on-death.html

However, following a very pleasant gathering at my home of friends on New Year’s Eve and a January 1^st continuing along the same lines, I have decided that a good one for 2016 might be: continue the year as I ended it – with friends! I will thus strive in 2016 to catch up with my friends, see those who live near more often, keep in better touch with those who live far away and in general try and be a better friend myself.

I could do worse.

Friends for over 60 years!